had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
