We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
