I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
