By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
