Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
