Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
