You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize