But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
