They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I need to align my fucking chakras
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
