do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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