Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
