her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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