New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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