You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize