Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.

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(513): View more from Ohio

They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.

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