I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
