Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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