Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
someone threw a dead crab at me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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