He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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