Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
