Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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