I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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