see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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