he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hippo gnu deer
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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