But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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