just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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