I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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