So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
