I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
