I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
