i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
