I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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