I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize