i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
