im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
