I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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