she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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