In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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