i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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