He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
