If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
