so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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