You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
