so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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