so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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