Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
