Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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