you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Drake has all the answers
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
