i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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