allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
