maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
