Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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