I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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