Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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