I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
