Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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