Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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