ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
