My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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