I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
